Work ethic lesson for the day - Do all you possibly can! remember the ant.

bird of the same feather

..there were 3000 in the second class today. there is no place as accommodating as the second class of a mumbai local train..felt like a crane though.with one leg up in the air.

since no one's reading a thing out here i think i can risk writing withou really dwelling too much into whether all this make sense at all..even if it doesnt..i don't fucking care at this point..because at this very moment..i belive that all these years ive only absolutely unneccsarily expected too much. from myself...and honestly beyond a point its not worth it...there's always been this want to be...clean cut proper...flawless...im not going to read this after im done..like i said a while ago i really dont care a fuck....read about a writer who says that he writes everyday for eight hours...ive been waiting for years now..for some kinda switch to go on and get me writing..its not so much writing as the fact i write that makes me happy..ya actually thats the truth..int he last 6 years ive changed..about 5 jobs...all except the last internship have nothing to do with what im doing now. im giving advertising a shot...never thought ill fit..i dont know whether i do. its been a week and ive still no clue what im doing..someone just barged over.startled and then like i said..i dont care a fuck. but then..yeah..its a little frustrating to be all kicked about this job...and ..you know..i think im being a little impatient..just waiting to be drowning in work..read this somewhere...if u work..and sleep and work and sleep..then all ur successes or failures can be an outcome of only these two activities..the more activities the more chances of being happy..so..ive decided may be i should join a gym..or sing with a band..essentially give myself a few more chances of being slightly gratified. now..its almost time to go..i want to get out of the habit of asking my boss to let me go...freddy mercury is an inspiration...ive been too scared..little things..wheres the outlet to emotion..havent..all this while..held on..just to fuckin please whom..waiting to be reprimanded..for a change...turned up the volume..always bothered about the volume...didnt want to be a nuisance..now like i said..i dont care a fuck...soul searching..i dont know..ive been to bothered..need to bother a little less....but somewhere i dont want to be rude..i dont think making a point to coward within warrants the need for me to bring out aggression.....want to smile..emote...im fucking opening the box...you know there have been so many chuts around that ive been patient with...there have been people whove ignored...acted like fucking...chuts and ive just been patient...im such a fuckin coward..the fear of getting into conflicts...i want to kill...jackson has been an inspiration too..he's been an inspiration to do things to the best of ur abilities..just push...tear urself apart to bring out the best..i love thriller..what a fucking song...what an intro...something evils lurkin in the dark....i want a prove a point to my coward self...what a fucking coward. im losing hair..it bothers me once a while......u heard the door slam.....need to assert myslef..what do i have to lose..ive been jobless in the past..close to saying that i was fired at my first job...and in hindsight i still believe i wasnt at fault..these thougths distrub sometimes lekin....i try to forget..some grudges..i hate heards. but i need to be a little more inviting..there are only a few things that im not scared to do..fearlessness breeds positivity...i came across this quote...i said dont mind but do you mean i am the one..aggression is good sometimes..but needs a rein...grew up on jackson...i need to use my skills more..they've been lying there doing nothing..ill forget how do what i do the best...if youve read this till here and wondering whatever...i dont care a fuck..small successes lead to big successes....need better control...and need to let lose at the same time...actually i need to losen up more...more that anything..i barely smile. i rarely smile....losing hair..looking out for my boss to tell him i want to go..im writing after long..didnt really..do you remember the time...what a song..it really goes..i dont know where..ekdum..climax..zabbardast...when im rome do what the romans do..leaving at 7. nothing happened at work today. some just asked me whether im writing an essay...like i said...anyways//oh the part i love the best...what a song. jackson..jackson hai..i cant stand rahman now..i think..not much of him...i always thought to myself..who do i really like more...jackson is way ahead/..i hope theres heaven..i hope God grants us a wish when we die..ill ask Him....Scarborough fair.....i can listen to it on and on and on..deep forest green.

I write more often

i write more often
i write more often
i write more often
i write more often
i write more often
i write more often
i write more often
i write more often
i write more often
i write more often

I believe

All through my tenth grade I faired miserably. By early January when most students started wrapping up their year long studies I could only see things slipping away. In fact I don't even remember having a favourite subject that I was well prepared with. I was disorganization personified. Just when things started to get out of control my father introduced me to the concept of "Positive Reaffirmations". The basic premise of this "strategy" was that the only way you could change things was to believe that you could. What seemed to be thoroughly irritating initially turned out to be one of the most efficient and effective productivity techniques I've come across that was actually not Japanese. I surrendered myself completely to this, almost engraving it in my sub-conscience.

As part of the "transformation process" I had a set of "Affirmations" written on the first page of every notebook. These affirmations were basically the changes I wanted to bring about in me. For eg: I always wrote my answers sans question numbers; this despite being reprimanded several times in school. So to tackle this problem my corresponding affirmation said, " I write all my question numbers". Every time I sat to study, I'd spend a minute reading my affirmations, reminding myself that I was set to change. Gradually a lot began to improve. The handwriting became neater, the study table cleaner, the hours of studies longer and me, a lot more calmer. I had never cleared a Math paper in school that year. A 40 on 150 was my score for the prelims - algebra-geometry clubbed together and an overall percentage of 42. The magic of positivity is what I experienced when the results were declared. I got and overall percentage of 73 - a 31 percent increase and a score of 122/150 in Mathematics a 53 percent increase.

Today whenever I come across a problem that seems insurmountable...I just know things can be changed....provided...I believe

She...

..in her presence..cry when it hurts,

..scratch where it itches...

think aloud..feel foolish..feel wise... feel..touch...talk…

..wake up to the sound of music…

..do things together…things without the other…

..trust ..patience…sacrifice…prayer…sensitivity...…

..children…plenty of ‘em….

....smiles.....

..she’d be the centre of life……

..she’d be life…..

9 minutes,16 moves....

Today, Thursday, the 24th of May, 1100 hrs, a cluttered mind, seeking refuge and solitude.

Aimless....I play a game of chess - a game tried, tested and given up....years ago.

My opponent this time around - Willamette a.k.a the seventh-generation x86 architecture microprocessor produced by Intel, The Pentium -4.

A checkered battlefield, two minds, one programmed to never lose,

the other... seeking refuge and solitude...

A depleted arsenal, a dead queen, and.. a miracle.

9 minutes, 16 moves.. and a message never seen before...

"Checkmate, You Win!!"

I turn around,.. all i see... is a bustling room...oblivious...

..and then..... it sinks..

Success occurs in private..failure.. when the worlds watching....